Archive for category Humor

A Not Entirely Accurate History of Programming Languages

James Iry has posted A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages, a hilarious look at the development of programming languages over the years.

Some of my favorites:

On C:

“1972 - Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.”
~ James Iry A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages

On Objective-C:

“1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, announcing "this language has all the memory safety of C combined with all the blazing speed of Smalltalk." Modern historians suspect the two were dyslexic.”
~ James Iry A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages

On LiveScript/JavaScript/ECMAScript:

“1995 - Brendan Eich reads up on every mistake ever made in designing a programming language, invents a few more, and creates... JavaScript”
~ James Iry A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages

Visit his blog to read more.

$10,000-per-Minute Phone

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about Churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read ‘Calls: $10,000 a minute.’

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Pennsylvania , upon entering a church in Pittsburgh , Pa .. Behold – he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read ‘Calls: 35 cents.’

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, ‘Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?’

I love this part ………………………

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, ‘Son, you’re in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania home of the Pittsburgh Steelers now…… You’re in God’s Country, It’s a local call.

(American by Birth – A Steelers Fan by the Grace of God.)

GO STEELERS !!!!!!